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Photograph: iStock. She was sophisticated, stunningly beautiful and seemed beyond my reach. She was also 18 years older than me, but then it did not seem to be a problem. I chased her for a long time and, as I was lucky enough to make a lot of money, I was able to treat her to all kinds of luxuries. She was very wary at the time, saying that the age difference was too much and she was worried that she would regret it later. I brushed all this off as I was blindingly in love and, eventually, we got married and for many years it was brilliant and we were totally into each other.
I am no longer attracted to her physically and she is not interested in sex — in fairness, she probably has been pretending to have an interest for a long time. Answer: It feels that you are paralysed in your relationship and this may be mirrored by your partner who is now afraid that if she challenges you or admits her insecurity she will drive you away. Perhaps this is what is really happening in your relationship — she is now very insecure and you are both reacting to this by standing back and evaluating instead of getting stuck in together and working things out.
It seems you were very attracted to her independence of spirit and her beauty and now she is concerned about these things and you may be feeling that you have lost something that was very valuable to you.
All relationships hit rough times and perhaps you are over-focusing on the age difference rather than looking at what has created the division and lack of connection. You say that your partner has lost interest in sex and I wonder about this.
She may be hyper conscious of this but people of all ages have to deal with body changes and with love and acceptance they can come through to allow their bodies the pleasure of sex and intimacy. It seems that you both are currently contributing to the question marks around your relationship but you are not talking together about it. This is probably due to fear: fear of causing hurt and upset and fear of bringing on the ending.
Earlier, you both took on fear and overcame it with huge success so I wonder if you can again engage and meet each other where you are at with full openness and honesty. This is what intimacy is and you both have been missing this for some time. Predicting an outcome is not possible but you have desires and needs that need to be discussed and your partner also has desires and fears that she is currently keeping to herself.
Surely you two owe it to each other to fully understand what is going on before a decision can be made. If you continue to struggle with this decision, I recommend some sessions with a psychotherapist or psychologist to help you unravel your own issues in this situation.
This is a very important decision and it deserves all the time and attention you can give it. Dr Muiris Houston: Predicting flu activity this winter is difficult. Expect the unexpected. More than m people have been infected, and 4. But viral evolution is a long game. When it comes to menopause, there are no awkward or ridiculous questions. Overweight people on fewer carbs and more fat at lower risk of cardiovascular disease.
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