Added: Quantina Sherman - Date: 11.05.2022 07:40 - Views: 10967 - Clicks: 4194
I've encountered this a lot. I would meet girls. Whether it be through campus or cold approach. The problem is that most of them would agree to meet up but not under the premise of a date. Meaning, they'd be fine with just hanging out as friends. How exactly do you deal with this?
I've been on some of these hangouts and honestly this is what happens: I show up, meet her, we chat, I try to escalate by holding her hand or maybe even kissing and she rejects both escalation attempts. I then try again later but it obviously doesn't matter because the girl isn't there under the premise of a date, she sees it as just hanging out. So in the end after finishing coffee or whatever we were doing, we leave and I just don't contact the girls again because it seems like a waste of time and bullshit.
What's the proper way to handle the situation when a girl says she wants to hang out and not have it be under the premise of a date. Or are they just looking for friends. Should I just not bother and consider these as rejections? Logically it makes sense for me to not waste my time on girls like these because there is no progression or escalation, the end goal is unclear if I can't even escalate a bit on the first meet Looking to hang out with a woman.
But maybe these girls aren't a complete waste of time, thoughts? I'm going to play devil's advocate. Sounds like you're forcing things too much. She didn't want to date you but you wouldn't back down. You reached for her hand, she said no. You then went for a kiss why would you kiss her when she wouldn't even accept holding hands?
People on this sub get a little too focused on the acts of escalation and forget that you need to build rapport with the girl first. She has to consent or escalate each time otherwise you're just being a pushy creep who can't read her body language. Attractive women have enough guys like that around all the time anyway, so don't be one of them. And besides, don't let yourself get put off when a girl says she wants to hang out. They always say that, unless it's a guy she really does like. If it's a guy she isn't sure about yet, she'll say you're 'just hanging out' because it saves face if she changes her mind.
Or maybe she's just not ready yet and you just have to let things progress on their own. That's why they say don't focus on just one girl because you tend to become more outcome dependent. That's when you Looking to hang out with a woman afraid of rejection and if you find yourself getting shaken when you do then that's what you must strive to overcome first. You can't be afraid of rejection because you're going to get a lot more of those than invitations. Sorry if there was confusion but there have been multiple instances where this has happened.
Obviously I wouldn't try for a kiss if she didn't let me hold her hand. I meant to say that for a couple hang outs I would try to hold her hand and for a couple others I would try to kiss first, either attempts would fail. If a girl tells me she wants to hang out, would that lead to dating though? See I just really really value my time here. I'd love to get to know some awesome girls and spend time with them, but frankly I already have enough friends and I'm not looking to build more friendships, I want things to actually go farther than that with a girl.
Wouldn't it not be a good use of my time if I just go on multiple hang outs with a girl as an attempt to "let things progress on their own" and then weeks or maybe a month later she says she just wants to be friends anyway when I was thinking that she could be a potential partner? It seems like just drawing out a rejection when I could have saved myself the trouble from the get go. You answered your own question.
You want to be told that you still have a chance, and that you should orbit around hoping the girl will change her mind. Stop wasting your time and move on. Whoa now You, as a male, need to keep in mind that girls have to worry about shit like creeps who want to rape them. Why is it so bad to have a 'hang out' day first? It gives you both a chance to see if the other person is totally nuts before there's any sort of real obligation. I know the factors in every case are different, but from your personal experience and the experiences of others you know, what is generally the most likely outcome, in your opinion?
All I can really say on this subject is that if they haven't explicitly said that it's not a date they may be "hang-out" as a synonym for "date". I ran into this with a girl I dated recently. She would ask if I wanted to hang-out then ten minuted later we were cuddling on her couch watching netflix. As for the escalation, maybe you're just escalating a little too fast for them?
How soon after you start hanging out do you try to kiss them? Normally we'd go to get coffee. I'd greet with a hug and we'd walk and talk together on our way to the coffee shop. I do some basic things like open doors and place hand behind her back to guide her in. Then we order and sit. Somewhere along the way I try to go for their hands if they have rings or jewelry on and just hold their hand a bit from there.
Sometimes on the way to the coffee shop or when we're leaving I try and go to hold their hand. I can remember numerous times where this would fail and the girl wouldn't let me hold her hand. In terms of kissing, same thing, just not returning it.
How do you deal with girls who want to hang out first and not date. The Brad Pitt test applies here. If you were Brad Pitt, would she be acting this way? If the answer is no, she is simply not attracted to you or she is playing games. Now you have identify WHY she isn't attracted to you enough.
How did you frame the interaction? Did you come off with the "friend" vibe? Listening to others in this thread who are telling you to go direct is not entirely a bad idea. You are basically forcing the woman to take her position one way or another. Now, I don't think you should go up to girls and be extremely forward this can definitely work though.
You have to polarise them in a socially savvy way. Using explicit communication can definitely work but I believe it can scare woman who would normally be receptive away. Your body languace, tonality, kino should make it VERY clear to her what you are about. The problem lies in the title of your post.
You made plans to "hang out" with a girl. You hang out with friends, so she already has this idea of you as a friend in her mind. You have to be clear with her about your intentions. If a girl will only hang out with you as friends, but not as a Looking to hang out with a woman, then that means she's not attracted to you. No point in hanging out with her, you're wasting your own time by thinking you'll be able to escalate a girl that already is thinking of you as a friend. If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, then you know that there's mutual attraction. These girls are not attracted to you.
There is no point trying to game them. Move on to other girls and work on being more attractive. They aren't into you most likely. Simple as that. Your post is spot on man, as I'm currently going through the same thing.
A bunch of women mind you I just turned 20, and I'm mostly talking to women that are in my age group are just freaked out by the concept of going direct. Sometimes I just wonder if this is just a s game, but one thing's for sure-I just can't be bothered to play games any more. Get to know them first. Maybe get some female friends, not just girls you want to bang. Then maybe you'll get laid more or get a girlfriend. Yes to this. I refuse to 'date' a guy that I don't have a semi friendship with first. It's scary to go out with a stranger, there's so many sickos out there.
I have and in my opinion these girls are really cool to hang out with. Found the internet! Posted by 7 years ago. Sort by: best. Reply Share. Continue this thread. Make them want to date you. They are not the prize. Good luck. More posts from the seduction community. Help with dating, with a focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship.
Learn how to connect with the ones you're trying to get with! Created Apr 8, Top posts february 16th Top posts of february, Top posts Back to Top.Looking to hang out with a woman
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What Does It Mean if a Girl Hangs Out With You Alone?